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Cánh Diều
10-08-2009, 12:57 PM
This is a descriptive-research essay, so I survey online and write about " Higher Education in Vietnam". If you see the grammar mistakes or use wrong words, please help me to correct them. Thanks.

This is my essay, it does not complete and miss an introduction and a conclusion.




Higher Education in Vietnam
Vietnam was absolutely independent in 1945. Therefore, it changed all of the systems such as an economic, education and government. After many years of war, the South Vietnam was controlled by the North, and people who worked for American government went in jail in Hanoi _ the capital of Vietnam. Living in jail, people did not have enough food so that they thought about eating day in and day out. In addition, when a wife or girlfriend visited them, they had a hard time communicating with each other or giving foods. For that reason, prisons catch mice, rats, birds, and grasshoppers to eat secretly because they could be punished by the guards if they saw them ate those foods (“Re-education in Vietnam”). On the other hand, the government was busy because of recovery the system, so the children still were difficult to go school because they needed to work at the field, took care of their siblings or found out the victims who died during the war. Moreover, the country did not have a great deal of jobs for everyone who did not have enough education.

After five years of year, when the prisons were free and came back home, the schools were building in the South and rebuilding in the North. If a visitor came to Vietnam in 1975, they could see the old and small schools. They separated between girls and boys; it meant boys and girls must study in a different school and they could not meet each other during the school’s time. In addition, Vietnamese has an idiom: “A student does nothing without a teacher.” Consequently, teachers had a huge power and controlled all of the students, and the pupils could say anything even though the teachers beaten them. Moreover, their parents said nothing because they thought teachers always right. Another reason was the parents did not have enough time to work so that they did not care about their children. It was why students usually afraid of the teachers at that time. Although some students studied were perfect in school, they just learned and read everything in the books and had no chance to invest in the real life. First, the Vietnamese government did not have a great deal of money to buy modern tools to practice. Second, besides going to school, Vietnamese children must work to have money and they did not care a lot about studying. Third, students who became dependence in the instructors followed their ways to study and did not have the own ways. Then, pupils who lived in the rich families should study how to keep their own business survived so that they did not have a choice to learn about their hobbies.

It was not only happen in Vietnam, but also in Ladak, India. “Children learned to become a technological than ecological and society, they also studied how to provide themselves with clothing and shelter, how to make shoes…(Helena, 3).” Ladakhis children only learned how to survive, but not how to modernize their country, and Vietnamese children also did the same ways. Moreover, because of affecting the French colonial rule, Vietnamese books needed to rewrite every book and published new one. Furthermore, Vietnam just became independent a short time so that professors did not have a large and huge knowledge to write perfect books. For example, all of books had a typing mistake in the literately books and wrong explanation in the mathematic books. In addition, professors did not have enough money to invest the real world, so everything they knew because of reading in the books. Consequently, the students went to school for studying abstractions and not real. On the other hand, Vietnam is one of the ten countries in the southeast, and other countries had the same problems in 1970s. For instance, Cambodian education also affected by French style, so instructors decided to change the books with their own languages. However, they did not have enough facilities so that Cambodian used brown papers and a long time to type the books. Ladakhis children studied inappropriate books because they showed “a pile of neatly folded handkerchiefs on a four poster bed and gave instructions as to which drawer of the vanity unit to keep them in (Henela,4).” The result was everything children learned in school never useful in the real life. Students followed the instructors’ explanations each problems in every subject and gave the outline so that the flexibility of the students decreased more and more.

Understanding the problem in Vietnamese education, the minister of education and training Nguyen Minh Hien said that promoting self-reliance and independence is the first step toward a breakthrough in reform of universities and colleges (“Even Vietnam is Decentralizing Higher Education). Vietnamese education’s system divided in elementary school, junior high school, high school, college and university: semi-public, people-founded, and private; besides, it has other groups including in-service, part-time, short-term training and specialized or retraining courses. Since going to school, pupils always went after the teachers’ methods. Therefore, when growing up, students absolutely could not study without instructors’ outline. The problem was Vietnamese children learned to remember, not to understand. Then, if a person diligent and assiduous, he completely got a good grade with nothing in his mind. Why those students had nothing in their mind? Because of pushing a pile of knowledge before taking an exam or test, students would forget everything after finishing big tests. For that reason, if the Vietnamese society wanted to have a higher education, they must change the process of teaching students. Asking students active in the world outside and taught them outside classes might attract students and pushed them to have more interesting.

Besides changing the method of education, Vietnamese government bought new machines to use in the laborites. For example, the ITU [Information Technology University] had a modern IT center, software lab, network and e-classroom for students (“Universities buy modern equipment”). It was a big step to have a higher education in Vietnam. However, many teachers did not have enough knowledge how to use new technology and tools in laboratories, so they must improve their skills to teach the students. Pupils could not become a perfect student if the instructor had poor knowledge. In addition, “some microscopes became so old that only students with very good eyes could use them (“Universities buy modern equipment”). Vietnam had 54 provinces, so it was very hard to innovation in once time. The government just bought new tools or technologies through once place to another place from time to time. When machines become older, it was the time to change another one. But the government must think carefully because of helping students in the small towns. Now, some places in Vietnam did not have electronic. If the government wanted to set new machines there, they must build electronic system which cost a great deal of money.

In the 2000s, The Vietnamese government had more scholarships to help students studied outside the country. Specially, the quantities of students learned in America improve more and more and most of them lived in California (10%), Texas(9%) and New York(4%), and forty-five percent of Vietnamese study in the top twenty most popular universities (“The Higher Education in Vietnam”). America is one of the top countries which had wonderful education’s system. It always had new machines in laborites, huge books and computers in the library, and the instructors always answered all of the questions with smile face. Furthermore, American methods were absolutely different in Vietnam because teachers usually asked student to read the books and found out resources by themselves. It was a good thing Vietnamese teachers must learn to teach the Vietnamese students. They should show students the main things and left them alone to do their works instead of doing for them.

viggo
10-08-2009, 05:17 PM
>.<" that's awesome!!! i read all the content your aboved essay but my english is not good enough to correct the mistakes >.<"...hopefully,other people coulb be help .....

Cánh Diều
10-08-2009, 05:54 PM
Ok thanks a lot, I hope someone can help me ^^

lu_hehe
10-08-2009, 07:13 PM
Vietnam was absolutely independent in 1945.
-> Câu này ko ổn. nói trắng ra thì chia thì chưa đúng. Cái tình trạng độc lập vẫn còn kéo dài đến bây giờ -> "have been", hoặc sửa "was independent" thành "gained independence"

Therefore, it changed all of the systems such as an economic, education and government.
-> "an" >> "its"; "economic" >> economy (noun) vì 2 từ còn lại đều là noun hết.

For that reason, prisons catch mice, rats, birds, and grasshoppers
-> prisoners

the government was busy because of recovery the system
-> the government was busy recovering the system

the children still were difficult to go school because they needed to work at the field, took care of their siblings or found out the victims who died during the war.
-> "the children couldn't go to school", "the children were unable to go to school", "it's difficult for children to go to school". Tại vì difficult mà bạn dùng cho children có nghĩa là "lũ trẻ khó bảo"
-> "found out" là "phát hiện ra" (ý tưởng, bí mật, v.v...), cái này phải là "looked for" mới đúng

Moreover, the country did not have a great deal of jobs for everyone who did not have enough education.
-> everyone >> all the people
-> have enough education >> receive enough education

the schools were building in the South and rebuilding in the North.
-> dùng passive. Cái trường đâu có tự nó mọc lên được.

A student does nothing without a teacher.
-> I think it's "a student achieves nothing without a teacher", or "a student can do nothing without a teacher"

and the pupils could say anything even though the teachers beaten them.
-> couldn't

Another reason was the parents did not have enough time to work
-> devoted all their time to work

It was why students usually afraid of the teachers at that time.
-> thiếu "to be" trong cái vế của "why". Should be "why students were usually [...]"

Although some students studied were perfect in school
-> câu này có tới 2 động từ. "some students studied perfectly at school"

Vietnamese children must work to have money
-> earn money

Third, students who became dependence in the instructors followed their ways to study and did not have the own ways.
-> dependent (adj), "on" chứ không phải "in", chữ "their" ở đây sẽ được hiểu là "students" chứ không phải "instructors"
-> Third, students became dependent on the instructors' ways of studying and did not have their own ways.

they did not have a choice to learn about their hobbies.
-> a chance to pursuit their hobbies
-> learn about = tìm hiểu, tức là vẫn chưa biết mình thích cái nào và phải đi tìm hiểu xem hobbies của mình là gì.

Children learned to become a technological than ecological and society
-> even if it's a quote, it isn't right
-> a technological what? an ecological what?
-> and society??

Moreover, because of affecting the French colonial rule, Vietnamese books needed to rewrite every book and published new one.
-> affecting >> aftereffects
-> "Vietnamese needed to rewrite every book and publish new ones."

Vietnam just became independent a short time so that professors did not have a large and huge knowledge to write perfect books.
-> had just become independent for a short time
-> vast knowledge, not "large and huge"

Tạm thời mới đọc đến đó thôi. Mệt quá... phù......... Ý tưởng của bạn này thì có nhưng cứ lộn xộn cả lên, và đôi khi một ý được nhắc nhiều lần -> lặp.

BoyVn
11-08-2009, 12:21 AM
Wow, this is a long essay!! I'll try to edit anything I can.

* Note: Just using my correction as an suggestion !


This is a descriptive-research essay, so I survey online and write about " Higher Education in Vietnam". If you see the grammar mistakes or use wrong words, please help me to correct them. Thanks.

This is my essay, it does not complete and miss an introduction and a conclusion.




Higher Education in Vietnam
Vietnam was better delete absolutely independent in 1945. Therefore, it changedshould becomes the government has changed all of the systems such as an economic, education and government. After many years of war, the South Vietnam was controlled by the North, and people who worked for American government went in jail >>>reeducation camp not really jail in Hanoi _ should be a comma the capital of Vietnam. Living in jail, people did not have enough food so that they thought about eating day in and day out---- unclear . In addition, when a wife--wives or girlfriend-s visited them, they had a hard time communicating with each other or giving foods. For that reason, prisons catch mice, rats, birds, and grasshoppers to eat secretly--- ?>>> oftenlybecause they could be punished by the guards if they saw them ate those foods (“Re-education in Vietnam”). >>> What do you mean? On the other hand, the government was busy because of recovery the system, so the children still were difficult to go school because they needed to work at the field, took care of their siblings or found out the victims who died during the war. Moreover, the country did not have a great deal of jobs for everyone who did not have enough education.

After five years of year, when the prisons were free and came back home, the schools were building in the South and rebuilding in the North. If a visitor came to Vietnam in 1975, they could see the old and small schools. They separated between girls and boys; it meant boys and girls must study in a different school and they could not meet each other during the school’s time. In addition, Vietnamese has an idiom: “A student does nothing without a teacher.” Consequently, teachers had a huge power and controlled all of the students, and the pupils could say anything even though the teachers beaten them. Moreover, their parents said nothing because they thought teachers always right. Another reason was the parents did not have enough time to work so that they did not care about their children. It was why students usually afraid of the teachers at that time. Although some students studied were perfect in school, they just learned and read everything in the books and had no chance to invest in the real life. First, the Vietnamese government did not have a great deal of money to buy modern tools to practice. Second, besides going to school, Vietnamese children must work to have money and they did not care a lot about studying. Third, students who became dependence in the instructors followed their ways to study and did not have the own ways. Then, pupils who lived in the rich families should study how to keep their own business survived so that they did not have a choice to learn about their hobbies.

It was not only happen in Vietnam, but also in Ladak, India. “Children learned to become a technological than ecological and society, they also studied how to provide themselves with clothing and shelter, how to make shoes…(Helena, 3).” Ladakhis children only learned how to survive, but not how to modernize their country, and Vietnamese children also did the same ways. Moreover, because of affecting the French colonial rule, Vietnamese books needed to rewrite every book and published new one. Furthermore, Vietnam just became independent a short time so that professors did not have a large and huge knowledge to write perfect books. For example, all of books had a typing mistake in the literately books and wrong explanation in the mathematic books. In addition, professors did not have enough money to invest the real world, so everything they knew because of reading in the books. Consequently, the students went to school for studying abstractions and not real. On the other hand, Vietnam is one of the ten countries in the southeast, and other countries had the same problems in 1970s. For instance, Cambodian education also affected by French style, so instructors decided to change the books with their own languages. However, they did not have enough facilities so that Cambodian used brown papers and a long time to type the books. Ladakhis children studied inappropriate books because they showed “a pile of neatly folded handkerchiefs on a four poster bed and gave instructions as to which drawer of the vanity unit to keep them in (Henela,4).” The result was everything children learned in school never useful in the real life. Students followed the instructors’ explanations each problems in every subject and gave the outline so that the flexibility of the students decreased more and more.

Understanding the problem in Vietnamese education, the minister of education and training Nguyen Minh Hien said that promoting self-reliance and independence is the first step toward a breakthrough in reform of universities and colleges (“Even Vietnam is Decentralizing Higher Education). Vietnamese education’s system divided in elementary school, junior high school, high school, college and university: semi-public, people-founded, and private; besides, it has other groups including in-service, part-time, short-term training and specialized or retraining courses. Since going to school, pupils always went after the teachers’ methods. Therefore, when growing up, students absolutely could not study without instructors’ outline. The problem was Vietnamese children learned to remember, not to understand. Then, if a person diligent and assiduous, he completely got a good grade with nothing in his mind. Why those students had nothing in their mind? Because of pushing a pile of knowledge before taking an exam or test, students would forget everything after finishing big tests. For that reason, if the Vietnamese society wanted to have a higher education, they must change the process of teaching students. Asking students active in the world outside and taught them outside classes might attract students and pushed them to have more interesting.

Besides changing the method of education, Vietnamese government bought new machines to use in the laborites. For example, the ITU [Information Technology University] had a modern IT center, software lab, network and e-classroom for students (“Universities buy modern equipment”). It was a big step to have a higher education in Vietnam. However, many teachers did not have enough knowledge how to use new technology and tools in laboratories, so they must improve their skills to teach the students. Pupils could not become a perfect student if the instructor had poor knowledge. In addition, “some microscopes became so old that only students with very good eyes could use them (“Universities buy modern equipment”). Vietnam had 54 provinces, so it was very hard to innovation in once time. The government just bought new tools or technologies through once place to another place from time to time. When machines become older, it was the time to change another one. But the government must think carefully because of helping students in the small towns. Now, some places in Vietnam did not have electronic. If the government wanted to set new machines there, they must build electronic system which cost a great deal of money.

In the 2000s, The Vietnamese government had more scholarships to help students studied outside the country. Specially, the quantities of students learned in America improve more and more and most of them lived in California (10%), Texas(9%) and New York(4%), and forty-five percent of Vietnamese study in the top twenty most popular universities (“The Higher Education in Vietnam”). America is one of the top countries which had wonderful education’s system. It always had new machines in laborites, huge books and computers in the library, and the instructors always answered all of the questions with smile face. Furthermore, American methods were absolutely different in Vietnam because teachers usually asked student to read the books and found out resources by themselves. It was a good thing Vietnamese teachers must learn to teach the Vietnamese students. They should show students the main things and left them alone to do their works instead of doing for them.



















grammatical


It is a very informative and interesteing essay. Your idea is good. Reread again and try to rewrite it in your own words, you will see the difference. Also, any time you use a unknown word, remember check in dictionary. good luck

Cánh Diều
11-08-2009, 10:10 AM
Thanks guys

to boyvn: sometimes I used the wrong words, that why i asked for help

chồn_ú
13-08-2009, 12:25 AM
Cái " They separated between girls and boys.." ấy thì nên chuyển sang là single-*** school thì hơn. Cách diễn đạt của bạn hơi tối nghĩa chút, nhưng không sao, tớ cũng bị vậy mà >_<

viggo
13-08-2009, 05:20 PM
:D:D:D glad to meet all the talents here :sr:,,,, the excellent esay , the fantastic judger !!!!

letue
13-08-2009, 05:33 PM
"most of them studying in Us...ínstead of :"most of them lived in us"
sửa lại đi em gái

"most of them lived in California (10%), Texas(9%) and New York(4%), "