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BoyVn
28-02-2008, 04:27 PM
I don't know how long I have felt in love with her. Any time she felt sad, missed some one, she always talked with me. I don't remember when I became a love adviser. Her tears made me become a love bridge between her and my close friend. When my friend was not beside her, I'm the one who listened to whole her story. She asked me for advices and told me many things about him. Of course I was a connection between them. Seeing her and my friend hand in hand, I felt very strange, but what I could say I love her. I wanted to keep my secret in my mind, and forever I would not tell anyone.

I remember that the day she held me for a long time, cried, and told me that she and my friend were broken. I asked her what happened, but she just silent. Then she told me that she felt in love with other man. I could not say anything. I was so sad to hear that. My heart seemed to be broken again.

On the same day, my friend called and told with me the same story. He could not control himself. He tried to forget her by hanging out with me, dirking wine, send his sadness to drug. I was sorry for them. Try to calm him down, but everything is useless.

Two day later, She called me. I wanted to say some things to help him, but I didn't. I could not say that she should forget my friend because someone else who also loved her. No, I would never do it. I wanted to tell her that I love her, but when she asked I told her that is a secret. "The secret .... is ...uhm a secret, and I will tell her one day but not to day", I said. I knew I should never tell her that I love her because she was falling in love with someone which I have never known.

It was a shockeing information for me. I stood stunned and hung up the phone. I could not believe my best friend had bee killed in an accident . I lost my best friend who used to be at my side with me to overcome many obstacles. Then, she came, and told me that is all her false. If she did not break with him, he would have not been broken up with his girlfriend, and he has gone forever.


One years later, we were finished high school. The day she went to college was the day I was leaving Vietnam. She came to say bye me. She cried, and told me that she was cared of that she would lose another person who is very important with her. She told me many things and asked about the secret. I said, my secret is that I was going to the US. Is it all?, she ask. Then she said, I also have one secret, but I won't tell you. I ask, why?
She looked at me... hold my hand. She give me her diary. "Bring my secret with you, but don't look at it ", she say....,

Good bye Vietnam, good bye my family, my friends. I fly to another country, and hold two secrets. One is mine one is her.



Hi all!

this is the first story I wrote in English. There is a thousand mistakes, but I hope you like it. And feel free to give me your comments.

BoyVn

TLH
28-02-2008, 07:01 PM
I don't know how long I have felt in love with her. Any time she felt sad, missed some one, she always talked with me. I don't remember when I became a love adviser. Her tears made me become a love bridge between her and my close friend. When my friend was not beside her, I'm the one who listened to [her whole story]. She asked me for advices and told me many things about him. Of course I was a connection between them. Seeing her and my friend hand in hand, I felt very strange, but [how could I tell her that I love her]. I wanted to keep my secret [for myself], and forever I would not tell anyone.

I remember that the day she held me for a long time, cried, and told me that she and my friend were broken. I asked her what happened, but she [didn't say anything]. Then she told me that she felt in love with another man. I could not say anything. I was so sad to hear that. My heart seems to be broken again.

On the same day, my friend called and told me the same story. He could not control himself. He tried to forget her by hanging out with me, drinking wine, [doing] drug. I [felt] sorry for them. I tried to calm him down, but everything was useless.

Two day later, she called me. I wanted to say somethings to help him, but I didn't. I could not tell her to forget my friend because there is someone else who also loved her. No, I would never do it. I wanted to tell her that I love her, but when she asked I told her that is a secret. "The secret .... is ...uhm a secret, and I will tell her one day but not to day", I said. I knew I should never tell her that I love her because she was falling in love with someone which I have never known.

It was a shock for me. I stood stunned and hung up the phone. I could not believe my best friend had been killed in an accident . I lost my best friend who used to be by my side to help me overcome many obstacles. Then, she came, and told me that is all her false. If she did not break up with him, then he would not have been gone forever.


One year later, we were finished high school. The day she went to college was the day I was leaving Vietnam. She came to say goodbye to me. She cried, and told me that she was cared to think of that she would lose another person who is very important with her. She told me many things and asked about the secret. I said; my secret is that I was going to the US. Is it all? She ask. Then she said, I also have one secret, but I won't tell you. I ask, why?
She looked at me... hold my hand. She give me her diary. "Bring my secret with you, but don't look at it ", she say....,

Good bye Vietnam, good bye my family, my friends. I flew to another country, and was holding two secrets. One is mine one is her.



Hi all!

this is the first story I wrote in English. There is a thousand mistakes, but I hope you like it. And feel free to give me your comments.

BoyVn

hehe my grammar is so bad... i was trying to help but i'm not sure if the stuff that i corrected is right :cr:
hey... is that a true story :5: did you find out what secret she was holding from you :D

BoyVn
29-02-2008, 02:23 PM
Some of them are noun clauses, I think u should not change it to questions. some of them are right. It just different ways to express the ideas.

However, you are right. I misspell break up to break!! Also I was so careless to change from past to present, also at some other. OMG


Thanks